It has come to my attention recently that there are a lot of women, namely middle age moms, who are having a little identity crisis. It is a bit different than the quarter life crisis coined by many authors because we are at a slightly different vantage point. Many of us have gone ahead and made a career decision, gotten married, developed a home, and started a family. So although we should be proud of ourselves in accomplishing that alone in our first three decades or so of life, we are now faced with some bigger questions… who are we and what are we doing to reflect what is important to us? This is the time where I believe as mothers, we have come to find that actions are far more powerful than words and that we need to find a way of traveling this path that jives with our values.
Here are a few examples of such inner battles:
1. I have always stated how fair trade is important. We can not take advantage of the disadvantaged just so we can get a shirt for six dollars at Wal-mart… and yet when I check the labels in my closet, most are made in a foreign country with shady trade practices. Fashion aside (since to be fair, most of my clothes are a decade old anyway), I have also yet to buy a pound of fair trade coffee despite how easy it would be.
2. I have always stated that the environment is important to me. A huge portion of our garbage is food waste and yet I don’t have compost (I’m making a mental note to tell the hysterical tale of my first attempt at one though.) I also have not reduced my footprint in ways such as walking more, using a clothes line, or buying more local food.
3. I have chosen a career that I could do for thirty years and it will bring me stability, but I dream of taking a risk and trying a new career path. Am I going to tell my children as they grow up that they need to follow their dreams while I quietly smother my own. How do I know what to do next?
It’s really these little things that add up. It’s realizing that every decision has weight. Because of this, I wanted to create a community for moms trying to deal with these big questions of “who they want to be when they grow up” while still balancing the tasks of working, being a wife and being a mother. In our twenties there was more turmoil in landing some big decisions and yet we had no one we were taking along on the journey with us to have to consider with every move. We also did not have the responsibility on our shoulders for being the role models to show how to make smart choices that reflect what is important to you.
Perhaps an overworn and pilly chliche: on an airplane flight attendants remind us copious times before take off that in case of an emergency, we need to put our oxygen supply on first before we aid our others, I think it is important that we as moms are breathing comfortably in our own skin to better help our own children grow.
This site will be a place that will hopefully offer you a dose of oxygen. I think one of the best things about being a mom is the community of moms I have met along the way. I am overwhelmed by the energy generated when I chat with another mom about the taste of possibility on our tongues. I hope all of you find what you are looking for and will be humbled if this site helps along the way.